April 22, 2013

My Random Thoughts During a Monday Meeting

  • Why did camel colored Dockers become the pant of choice for men in their 50s?
  • Has X lost weight? I hope he doesn't have that cancer that he keeps saying he's going to get and die from.
  • I really like those glasses on Y. Tortoise shell was a good choice. What would he look like with an 80s Simply Red hair cut?
  • How did she get so tan? Phoenix golf trip? She has nice legs that's for sure but that skirt is definitely way too short and the shoes look cheap. Isn't she freezing with bare legs? I like her necklace. She always accessorizes so well.
  • I hate this sweater I'm wearing. It's shedding what looks like pubic hair onto the notes I'm sharing with my colleague. Fantastic.
  • I bet that guy wears a spandex unitard and is part of a road bike pack on the weekend.
  • Where did Mr. IT get that bangle? It's a men's version of mine. Imagine if we were in this secret society whose members wore a single white gold bangle...
  • Are those suede creepers? That's hilarious that his other car is a 70s Fire Chicken.
  • Mr. Blue Shirt needs to simmer down. Agh, he's always so angry.
  • 98% of the people at this meeting are probably eligible for retirement. What are they doing here?
  • Good point whatever your name is. You always have good points. What is your job I wonder?
  • That a girl Z! Call his bluff! Did she color her hair again?
  • I can't believe Soul Patch beside me here is biting his nails - and making that sucking, biting sound while he's at it. So gross.
  • Shhh. I'm not having a panic attack. I shouldn't have had that double long espresso before the meeting that's all.
  • I like Mr. Spandex Unitard's leather bracelet. I wonder what the story is behind it. Doesn't match his Dockers and ugly shirt. He's quite handsome actually. I wonder if he has a wife and kids.
  • It's freezing in here. I can't believe I'm wearing jeans, boots, a tank top, wool long john shirt and a mohair sweater and I'm still freezing.
  • He's actually saying something that isn't a jumble of words that are trying to cover for the fact that he really has no clue.
  • I will not grab a muffin, for the ride home
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