Carpe Diem is Not a Disability - Part 5

If you fell in love with your partner when he or she was in a manic or hypomanic mood, you probably made some incorrect assumptions about what your intimate life together would be like. - Bruce M. Cohen, PhD

Last month, a psychiatrist at the BC Women's Hospital crowned me with a triple jewel tiara - bipolar II, GAD (general anxiety disorder) and ADHD (which is a disorder I don't believe in). If it wasn't for my trail of obliterated relationships I don't think I would've been too concerned or even noticed my drastic mood changes. When I wasn't in mourning over one of these obliterated relationship, (there have been two serious ones since 1990), I blamed my sudden onset depression on too much partying, which nevertheless transformed itself into a huge depressive, regret ridden hangover. During times alone, I either hid out in my bed listening to Bach or Bauhaus, or moved towns as I felt too embarrassed by Crazy Stacy's behaviour to show myself. If I had a dollar for every time someone referred to me as a free spirit I'd finally have enough for a down payment on a house in the place I was born and raised! Imagine such a thing.

The bipolar diagnosis doesn't surprise me at all. I really first started delving into the possibility of being bipolar after bonding with the manic depressive mother of a good friend of mine fourteen years ago. Unfortunately, that friendship lays in the destroyed pile and her mother died of cancer quite shortly after we made the crazy lady connection. It was all about sparkly clothes and cats for us!

So there you have it. Since my official diagnosis I haven't had time to really think about it as I've been on vacation with Brad, having GAD over the black spot on my ovary and fearing my Grandma's funeral because I fear sadness. Brad's vacation is now over, (I have another month), my doc says the black spot is a cyst, (another ultrasound in six weeks), and to remember my Grandma - Brad and I went to the casino, pulled some slots and luncheoned at C-Lovers Fish & Chips (some of my Grandma's favourite activities).

Now let's get back to architecture, fashion and interiors!

images: from my journal at age seven and me.

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