'by me age 10'
Fashion week always makes me hate fashion. I can't look anymore - what's with these 'street' style photos I'm being bombarded with from Mercedes Benz Fashion Week? That's not 'street' style - those people are posers (they are dressed that way to get their photo taken) or worse yet, models planted by designers for marketing. Anyway, what this post is supposed to be about is what I will never wear. You know, those things that are wonderful on other people but can't touch me with a fifty foot pole. I'd like to add that I wear numerous items I can guarantee a lot of folks would never wear (ie Birkenstock Arizonas ).
- denim skirts
- red - makes me feel like Kelly Bundy - red lipstick is ok
- corduroy
- a beige Burberry/George Costanza trench coat - any other color would be fine
- high tops - same issue with Mary Janes
- fur
- plaid fitted button up shirts
- cotton lycra
- yoga pants - hey, I practice yoga I just don't wear the pants
- ringer t-shirts
- overdyed denim with bright orange seams/disco jeans
- ass pants - those tight ass flare bottom downtown office lady pants
- Mary Janes - they accentuate my lack of ankles
- sheath dresses - not flattering on me
- 1950s - so beautiful on some women but so unflattering on me
- a tube top - nobody should wear a tube top
- felt or anything with felt applique
- 'flesh' tone nylons
- blush - 'Hi, I'm Adam Ant!'
- a 'blow dry' style - just because I'm blond doesn't mean I want to look like I broadcast the news
- cow print- think about it
- zebra print - is that cow print?
- tall cowboy boots - usually too tight on my calves anyway - I like the ankle boots though
- baseball cap as a fashion accessory
- big hoop earrings
- princess sleeves - I'm too old. Empress sleeves would be a different story
- acid wash - didn't wear it in the 80s either
- wrap around sunglasses - Karl Lagerfeld style sunglasses
- any advertising I'm not being paid for
- shorts
- anything tight and white