Men's Christmas Gift Giving Survival Guide

Yes, yes, of course, it's the thought that counts. My husband and I always say we're not getting each other gifts, but we usually buy each other one anyway. One year, I didn't get him one, but he got me one—even though we made the no-gift pact—did I ever feel bad? Now, we have a no-gift-buying pact budget.

Here are some tips to help you survive the unwrapping on the 25th.

1. If you don't know her size - receiving a size smaller is always better than receiving a size larger - except with bras.
2. I used to work in a lingerie shop. Apparently, a lot of women wear a size 34A around Christmastime. Chances she's about the size of the associate assisting you, 1:10.Chances she's a 32DD, 1:20. We usually keep our bras in the top right-hand drawer. Check the tag. It's on the back and has one number and either one or two letters. Look by the hooks - it'll read 32A, B34, C36 etc. Don't you dare buy her a size large underpants - even if she is. If you are buying her lingerie, buy her stuff she would wear, not necessarily the stuff you want her to wear - she'll buy that on her own and surprise you one night because she's so happy with the gift you gave her.
   
3. Surprise her by wrapping the gift yourself. To be extra cute, put a little ribbon on it and stick a pine cone on top.
   
4. Don't buy her any type of appliance - that includes a hair dryer. That's what the parents buy her.
5. Don't buy her a knockoff of anything. Is she cheap? No. Then don't make her look cheap. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. She knows how much it costs and whether or not you can afford it. If you can't, she'll be upset and probably want to take it back.
   
6. Receiving a gift card is like getting a stack of scratch and wins from Grandma.
7. You can never go wrong with classic jewelry. A simple gold or silver bangle, her favourite stone in a pendant or stud earrings, gold or silver hoop earrings, a gold or silver chain - longer ones are a safer choice as the short ones can be too tight around the neck and look silly if she decides to add a pendant to it later. If you buy the chain, go for the style that has a matching bracelet. You can get that for her for Valentine's Day. Beware of buying jewelry just because it's a particular name brand. You're usually paying more for the name and the quality isn't necessarily better, it may even be inferior.
   
8. Please make sure you get the return policy.
   
9. Start thinking now. Look for hints:
   

What magazines does she buy? A subscription as a stocking stuffer?
Does she take baths? How about a big gift basket of bath smellies from Lush and a set of candles small enough to be put around the edge of the tub?
What about chocolates? Well, we usually love them but will be irked if we get them because we'll eat them - all - in one day because out of sight out of mind! Then we'll be mad at you.
Ask her friends - it'll make you look good.