First Date Do's and Don'ts


mom & dad on one of their first dates.

Do
  • go for a midweek lunch - short and sweet. Why drag out a painful date over dinner? You'll know by the time lunch is over if you want to go out again. I never understood going to a movie or a concert on a first date. How are you supposed to get to know the person? If I can be frank, women get a little stressed at the end of the dinner date. Kiss, hug, hand shake, coffee upstairs, sex? Seriously, make it a few lunch dates first - coffee upstairs at a later date won't be so uncomfortable.
  • offer to meet your date at their place of work or pick them up at home. Most of the time they'll say they'll just meet you at the location but offer anyway.
  • have a place in mind ahead of time. If you're going on a lunch date stay clear of the pizza by the slice place and the fancy schmancy place with three forks. Choose something with good lighting (and that doesn't mean bright), excellent service, a quiet atmosphere and a good wine list. Keep in mind that your date may be veg so try and pick a place with a few more vegetarian selections on the menu.
  • keep an eye on the time (but not obviously). If your date has to be back to work respect this. If you control your own lunch break set a conclusion time in your head. You want to look responsible.
  • people love talking about themselves. Use the five Ws - who, what, when, where, why and how for good measure. Travel, hometowns, food, movies, and music are all safe topics.
  • a little flattery never hurts.

Don't
  • talk about your ex, sex, money, work, death or disease.
  • go to a place where you may run into an ex or one that brings back memories of an ex.
  • get drunk on a date.
  • be a jerk to the waiter.
  • expect your date to pay. If you did the inviting, you pay. Just because you paid doesn't mean you get a little. A friend of mine actually came across this; 'I paid for dinner. You owe me.' I went and picked her up and he, in his fur loin cloth and club, went back to his cave. Yet another reason we subconsciously get stressed over the dinner date.
  • say you're going to call when you're not. If you want to go out again ask if you can call later in the week.
Remember, however painstaking the first date is, it's what we'll always remember and yearn for when our relationship starts to fizzle.

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